Persona: Dreamscape


#1

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The perhaps of this thread is to allow me to get some feedback regarding my story before I begin writing. I know there’s a few Persona fans on these boards and over trying to explain individually to each one about the plot, I figured I’d just make a thread dedicated to it since I’d like some feedback regarding it. Also, if they are curious about having a character based upon themselves, I figured I would give a sample of my biography layout that I use for my main characters. (And naturally, anyone can join.)

I apologize in advance if the following seems very rough…because it is. But any feedback is appreciated.

[align=center]Setting[/align]

What is the purpose of a dream…? Is it simply the mind continuing to work while one slumbers or is it trying to reveal a hidden secret of the soul? For one young man, his dreams had faded long ago and were replaced with nightmares. Each nightmare seemed to be the same. He would find himself surrounded with an elderly man calling out his name as an empty pistol sat before him. Over the years, his dreams soon became violent to the point where he would wake with a coat of glistening cold sweat and be covered with cuts and bruises.

After one nightmare becomes so violent to send him to the hospital, his therapist recommends he joins a six-month long dream study to see if he cannot find out more about them. After transferring to a new high school and settling into his new, temporary foster home…He begins to see other humans in his dreams. In particular, a young woman who saves him after summoning a creature by shooting herself. He grows more confused and frightened of his nightmares but things only get worse when he realizes that an older student matches the “dream girl’s” description and more may go bump in the night than he ever could have imagined.

[align=center]Location[/align]

I have not yet come up with a name regarding the city for I’m not sure what exactly I want. I know that I do not want it to be a large city like in Persona 3, nor do I want it to be as small of a town as Inaba. If anything, it will be medium sized with the university- the place hosting the dream study - as its main pride and joy. The high school is second.

Needless to say, psychology is what this city is about.

I also have not yet decided on if I want this to be an Americanized version with American names or keep it Japanese. Thoughts on that?

[align=center]Keywords[/align]

Kleitman University: Named after Nathaniel Keitman (a researcher who discovered REM); the university specializes in psychology majors and often hosts multiple studies for research purposes in order to better understand the human mind

Aserinsky High School: Named after Eugene Aserinsky (a graduate student who helped discover REM); just a typical high school that tends to have its students be more interested in the arts, psychology, and science over other career choices

Lucid: The name given by the students to the “dream world” that many find themselves trapped in at night; named after the concept of a lucid dream

Persona: The visual representation of a person’s “true” self; a “creature” that can be summoned to aid the dreamer in an attack

Shadows: The name given to the creatures seen in Lucid; it’s believed they are representations of a person’s inner thoughts, fears, and desires that have become deadly from years of suppression by the human mind

Evoker: A pistol that always appears in Lucid; it seems to cause no visual harm to the user though does put the spirit and mind under pressure causing the Persona to reveal itself

(Needs a name): An underground “organization” created by the students of both the university and high school and (the Oneirologist hosting the study, needs a name still); they discover and collect research regarding Lucid and the Shadows with hopes of being able to help others who suffer from these nightmares

Igor: A strange, elderly man who seems to be untraceable; he often seems to summon students randomly when in Lucid; is always visited in a blue velvet room with a beautiful woman

[align=center]Character Information[/align]

Name:
Nickname:
Age:
Arcana:
Hobbies:
Talents:
Occupation:
Year:
Favorite Class:
Least Favorite Class:
Grades:

[align=center]Description[/align]

Hair Color:
Hair Style:
Eye Color:
Height:
Weight:
Characteristics:

[align=center]Clothing[/align]

[b]Casual Shirt:
Casual Pants:
Casual Shoes:

Uniform Shirt:
Uniform Pants:
Uniform Shoes:

Sleepwear:

Evoker Location:
Weapon:
Fighting Style:

Other:[/b]

[align=center]General[/align]
[b]
Parents:
Siblings:
Hometown:

Childhood:
Current State:
Future Plans:
Relationship:
Issues:
Emotional Standpoint:
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
[/b]

[align=center]Persona[/align]

Name:
Symbolism:
Element:
Attack:
Description:


#2

Pfft Persona what a shit game.

[SPOILER]Sounds awesome! Looking forward to seeing how it goes.[/SPOILER]


#3

Name: Salvatore
Nickname: Sal
Age: 16
Arcana: The Moon
Hobbies: Boxing
Talents:
Occupation: Student
Year: 3rd
Favorite Class: Gym
Least Favorite Class: Math
Grades: B+

Description

Hair Color: light brown
Hair Style: not too long or too short
Eye Color: Green
Height: 5’9
Weight:130
Characteristics: muscular

Clothing

Casual Shirt: White T shirt and depending on season a zip up sweatshirt over
Casual Pants: Once again depending on the season Jeans or shorts
Casual Shoes: sneakers

Uniform Shirt: Grey school uniform
Uniform Pants: black dress pants
Uniform Shoes: dress shoes

Sleepwear: pajama pants and oversize T

Evoker Location: inside pocket of uniform shirt
Weapon: Bare hands
Fighting Style: Boxing

Other:

General

Parents: Mother and Father
Siblings: Older sister
Hometown: Moved to wherever the story takes place while he was weeks old, his parents moved from Italy.

Childhood:
Current State: Trying to get into college and mix school work with sports but having a bit of difficulty
Future Plans: Continue on with his sports career.
Relationships: Single but not exactly pursuing anyone though he doesn’t have any problem getting emotionally involved.
Issues: He is competitive and if he loses he tends to pout and gets very emotional over things. His parents want him to study hard and go to college while he would prefer to be a professional athlete.
Emotional Standpoint: fluctuates quite a bit.
Strengths: He is physically fit and quite strong and he always puts
Weaknesses: He is obviously not the top student in his class and he gets frustrated when things do not work according to plan. His parents drive him crazy with their nagging.

Persona

Name: Aeneas
Symbolism:His defining characteristic is piety, a respect for the will of the gods. He is a fearsome warrior and a leader able to motivate his men in the face of adversity, but also a man capable of great compassion and sorrow.
Element: Ice (bufu)
Attack: Mabufu, Black Spot, Sonic Punch, Bufula
Description:He was a Trojan hero, the son of prince Anchises and the goddess Venus. His father was also the second cousin of King Priam of Troy. The journey of Aeneas from Troy, (led by Venus, his mother) which led to the founding of the city Rome, is recounted in Virgil’s Aeneid. He is considered an important figure in Greek and Roman legend and history.


#4

[quote=“Sakito”]Pfft Persona what a shit game.

Sounds awesome! Looking forward to seeing how it goes.

wtf stealing my posts i outta murder you


#5

hey lets make myself godlike

[align=center]Character Information[/align]

Name: Super Saiyan 6 Gogeta
Nickname: dat nigga chip
Age: 3
Arcana: wtf no
Hobbies: sucking dick
Talents: sucking dick
Occupation: sucking dick
Year: 1987
Favorite Class: the one where the teacher let me fuck them
Least Favorite Class: pe im fat
Grades: A+ i am so smart

[align=center]Description[/align]

Hair Color: black
Hair Style: black
Eye Color: black
Height: 7’5
Weight: 10000000000
Characteristics: big dick

[align=center]Clothing[/align]

[b]Casual Shirt: fubu
Casual Pants: dickies
Casual Shoes: air force 1’'ssssss

Uniform Shirt: no shirt posted up on the fucking block
Uniform Pants: doesnt matter cuz it saggs
Uniform Shoes: bare foot

Sleepwear: naked with my 17 inch dick flopping out

Evoker Location: my ass
Weapon: the golden dildo of truth
Fighting Style: bleach naruto bdz

Other:[/b] uhhhh

[align=center]General[/align]
[b]
Parents: theyre fucking dead asshole
Siblings: tony hawk
Hometown: compton

Childhood: don’t remember im so high
Current State: horny
Future Plans: to kill myself
Relationship: i fuck bitches
Issues: aids, no friends, rent is due next week
Emotional Standpoint: depressed horny
Strengths: 10000000 hp
Weaknesses: low magic
[/b]

[align=center]Persona[/align]

Name: jesus
Symbolism: a piece of shit
Element: piss
Attack: major ownage
Description:
[font=Verdana][size=167][size=84]
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said ‘You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air’

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, ‘I might as well kick it’.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear there’re prissy, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don’t think sow
I’ll see when I get there
I hope they’re prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain’t trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought ‘Now forget it’ - ‘Yo homes to Bel Air’

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later’
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
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#6

Bel Air is such a played out meme. :lol


#7

#8

Your bump reminded me I should fix up the description I gave so I changed it a bit